What We Get Wrong About Happiness

My book rests on two simple ideas. The first is that the only person you can change is yourself. The second is that we’re surprisingly bad at knowing what will truly make us happy. Let’s start with that second idea and I will return to the first in a future post.

Now, don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s understandable that so many of us struggle to figure out what truly makes us happy. We are constantly bombarded by the media telling us what happiness is supposed to look like, but so often, those messages miss the mark. Happiness isn’t found in a certain weight, a large bank account, the latest material objects, or the pursuit of impossible beauty standards. More often than not, true happiness comes from something much deeper: serving and connecting with others.

That’s one of the beautiful things about teaching—our job offers us endless opportunities to make a difference in someone else’s life, and in doing so, brings meaning and fulfillment to our own. We need to focus on this because it is incredibly easy to miss out on some of the happiness we create because we are so busy or because we just don’t see it. Luckily, there are two simple things we can do.

First, we can slow down. Our workplace pace doesn’t need to be frantic, nor should it come at the cost of being present and in the moment. We need the ability to enjoy the little victories along the way.

Second, we can look for the good in our days. Goodness is woven into every single day; we simply have to seek it out. A place dedicated to serving students—where everyone actively learns and grows—is inherently full of promise. This may be an optimistic view of schools, but it is a necessary one. When we assume the good is already there, our only job is to recognize it. Look for it today, and I promise you will find it. Once you recognize the goodness, slow down and savor it.

Ultimately, finding happiness doesn’t require a massive life overhaul; it simply requires a shift in how we look at our days. By slowing down and actively looking for the good, we take the first step toward the only real change we can control: changing ourselves. Start small today, notice the goodness around you, and let that be your foundation. Thanks for reading! kim